Has your relationship been impacted by an affair or significant betrayal? Betrayal trauma is one of the most painful and life changing events anyone can go through. At first, it feels insurmountable. Imagining that you could overcome and possibly even be stronger after an affair is probably beyond your vision right now.  The shock and trauma of the hurt partner is difficult to put into words.  I cannot stress how important it is to have the right therapist with experience in affairs walk both of you through this process. The interesting and complicated part of this is the person that hurt you, is also the person that can help heal you.   I will often have clients come to me after seeing one or two therapists prior and tell me, “I wish we had come here first.”  I combine Emotionally Focused Therapy and EMDR therapy as treatment. It takes a lot of work and commitment but it is possible to not only survive it but come out with a stronger marriage.  

I am trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy which was developed by Sue Johnson.  EFT provides a path for healthy connection between partners and looks at key moves and moments that define an adult romantic relationship.  The goal of the model is to help de-escalate and reorganize the emotional responses of the couple.  EFT helps couples become more aware of their partner’s needs which allows them to discuss problems with empathy rather than anger and frustration.  Most couples recognize a “pattern” to their fights but do not have the insight or tools to change those patterns so they continue to try different ways that do not lead to change.  This leads people to feeling helpless and alone and erodes a couples’ bond over time.  Through the EFT process, I can help you begin to step out of those patterns and into more positive communication while increasing your bond with one another.  

A speciality that is unique to me is helping people struggling with religious trauma and/or faith crisis/transition.  Religious trauma is usually associated with a type of betrayal as well as feelings of shame that people have experienced from an organization they supported and trusted.  This is really hard to make sense of sometimes.  Struggling with a faith crisis can be an overwhelming, confusing, lonely, shameful,  and painful process.  Perhaps this is something you have quietly struggled with and need help navigating or this is a new insight you have had that has changed your faith quickly and dramatically.  Regardless, having someone who can help you process your feelings and how best to navigate this can be very helpful.  The pain and rejection of disappointing family and often losing one’s community can be overwhelming.  Sometimes people need help continuing to be a part of their religion when they have felt hurt or confused by the people or the organization. Helping you understand your spiritual journey better, however you decide to proceed, can be very insightful and important.  I also can help you navigate relationships with healthy boundaries and empathy. I also have experience in helping couples with mixed faith backgrounds.

“EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a psychotherapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences.  Repeated studies show that by using EMDR therapy people can experience the benefits of psychotherapy that once took years to make a difference. It is widely assumed that severe emotional pain requires a long time to heal.  EMDR therapy shows that the mind can in fact heal from psychological trauma much as the body recovers from physical trauma.  When you cut your hand, your body works to close the wound.  If a foreign object or repeated injury irritates the wound, it festers and causes pain.  Once the block is removed, healing resumes.  EMDR therapy demonstrates that a similar sequence of events occurs with mental processes.  The brain’s information processing system naturally moves toward mental health.  If the system is blocked or imbalanced by the impact of a disturbing event, the emotional wound festers and can cause intense suffering.  Once the block is removed, healing resumes.  Using the detailed protocols and procedures learned in EMDR therapy training sessions, clinicians help clients activate their natural healing processes”. (From https://www.emdr.com)

If you are experiencing stress, anxiety or depression, please reach out to set up a time to see if we are a good fit with one another.